Never settle; you're better than that

My 11 year-old niece asked me about boys the other day. She prefaced it by tentatively asking, "Can I ask you something?" I had no idea what was coming next. I love her like she's my own daughter, and I thought, "Please don't tell me or ask me something bad. You're supposed to stay little forever." So, she asked me if she and the boy she liked last year should get back together. Apparently, as much as things change, they stay the same, because "dating" at 10, 11 consists of barely speaking to each other at school, but maybe sitting by each other at lunch or something. At my elementary school, "going together" meant holding hands near the giant ditch (lawsuit, anyone) at which everyone gathered. You maybe "hung" out at football games, but that was about it. Oh, to revisit a simpler time. Although the only boy I ever "went with" was a complete jerk who was never very nice to me. I don't even remember how we broke off our pseudo relationship. I think it involved note-passing.

So, the boy she liked last year is a boy she broke up with because he was mean to one of her best friends. I love that she's that protective of her friends. I mean, I know they're 10 and 11, but, still, you garner traits like loyalty, etc...at a very young age. However, as we all know, boys that age can be a little odd. Like instead of talking to you, they might push you down or pull your hair. I told her that as long as she had her friend's blessing (which she does), I think it's okay to give him another chance. I did, however, tell her, that if he acts like a jerk again, she should leave him alone. She, mayor of Sassy Town, gave me a look and said, "Oh, no, if he acts like that again, that is IT." Oh, how I heart her so much. I hope she does learn at a young age not to put up with less than she deserves.

I know that in her life, she may have to settle on some things, but hopefully they'll be the small ones, like curtains or an English class taught by an unpopular professor. It's sad how much we all, myself included, settle on things without even realizing it sometimes. If you had asked me at my niece's age where I would be right now, I would've said singing on Broadway. Anyone who's ever heard me at karaoke, and there are a lot of you out there, knows that wasn't entirely realistic. But I did always feel I was bound for some degree of greatness.

I don't mean for that to sound like the town ass clown. I just had really high expectations for myself. And then I lowered them, and lowered them some more, and then just a tad bit more, and I felt horrible about myself. Now, I don't necessarily amend that I'm bound for greatness, but there are degrees of greatness. I can be a great aunt and a great daughter and a great friend and a great employee and hopefully aspire to just being a great person. Being a great person might be a bit lofty, but I've realized that maybe I won't win the Pulitzer Prize, but I can still live a life out loud and do what I can to leave my mark, and that's okay, too.