So, I've had this long-standing fear of wearing shorts. My legs are so pale, they're clear. It could be 400 degrees outside, and I would refuse to wear them...I would say, "No, I'm not hot, I'm fine," as sweat poured down my legs and dizziness from heat ensued.
I've finally decided that I don't care how pale I am, and my own mother in fact said to me on Saturday, "You need to get some tanning lotion," thanks, Mom. It's too effing hot for me to live in my denim prison any longer. I bought shorts and two dresses, and I will be wearing them as the Albino Poster Girl I am. And I also appreciate those asking me if I've heard of an invention called "the sun." As a matter of fact, I have, but I work such odd, freaking times, I don't have time to lay out, and I am scared of the tanning bed..it's a cancerous coffin.
Now, for something completely different, why can they not fix this stupid oil leak? Seriously...and I'm tired of everyone blaming Obama..what would you have him do? Swim down and plug the leak with his body? Enough. He hasn't done anything more detrimental to the environment involving oil that presidents haven't been doing for 100 years. I'm not saying I think his behavior since the leak has been great, but really, what is it that people expect him to do?
Got through Father's Day #1 without my dad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. It helped that I got to spend it with family, having lunch with my mom and staying with my in-laws. It certainly helped that I have a wonderful father-in-law and in-laws in general who have always made me feel a part of their family. I really feel sorry for people who have in-law issues. I could see how that would be torturous, but yay for not having that problem. My only problem is that I think I gain 5 lbs every time we visit...Self-control, meet Emily. Emily, try to meet self-control.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The insomniac blog
I cannot sleep...I can't go to sleep and then when I go to sleep, I have horrible dreams...so I'm trying a new plan. I'm going to stay up until I get sleepy, then go to bed and watch no TV and just go to sleep. I may be awake until 1 a.m., but I'm gonna see how it works....
Now for some randomness...I cannot get Vacation Bible School songs out of my head. All throughout the past week I keep hearing "Some of the people, they didn't make the trippy, trippy, they fell out of fellowshippy, shippy," and "Zachaeus was a wee little man, a wee little man was he." I can only attribute it to the fact that there are VBS signs everywhere on the way to work...but it's odd...it's like my monkey DJ has been replaced by a Christian rock DJ.
We have 8 cans of every vegetable you could ever want.. I just looked in the cabinet to make coffee and noticed the 10 cans of tomatoes...it's hilarious. Smitty always prepares like Armageddon is coming with the stockpiles of food. I used to think it was insane and now I find it comforting. At any given time, I can pretty much make any recipe with the contents in our house, and that's awesome. It's just funny; there are 3 unopened mayonnaise containers and like 8 bottles of salad dressings in our pantry. The first time Smitty and I went on a 2-day trip, staying in a hotel, he brought canned soups, canned fruit, a box of Wheat Thins, and a tin of oysters...I was like, "Um...how long are we staying?"
I really want to be on a cooking show, like Hell's Kitchen. Not Hell's Kitchen itself, but something similar. I'm not an awesome cook, but neither are some of the people on those shows. I would like to see how I would handle myself...I used to really want to be on American Idol, but I've changed my course...I want to use creme fraiche and rock it out...but more likely, I would probably burn stuff...
Off to continue my sleep project...
Now for some randomness...I cannot get Vacation Bible School songs out of my head. All throughout the past week I keep hearing "Some of the people, they didn't make the trippy, trippy, they fell out of fellowshippy, shippy," and "Zachaeus was a wee little man, a wee little man was he." I can only attribute it to the fact that there are VBS signs everywhere on the way to work...but it's odd...it's like my monkey DJ has been replaced by a Christian rock DJ.
We have 8 cans of every vegetable you could ever want.. I just looked in the cabinet to make coffee and noticed the 10 cans of tomatoes...it's hilarious. Smitty always prepares like Armageddon is coming with the stockpiles of food. I used to think it was insane and now I find it comforting. At any given time, I can pretty much make any recipe with the contents in our house, and that's awesome. It's just funny; there are 3 unopened mayonnaise containers and like 8 bottles of salad dressings in our pantry. The first time Smitty and I went on a 2-day trip, staying in a hotel, he brought canned soups, canned fruit, a box of Wheat Thins, and a tin of oysters...I was like, "Um...how long are we staying?"
I really want to be on a cooking show, like Hell's Kitchen. Not Hell's Kitchen itself, but something similar. I'm not an awesome cook, but neither are some of the people on those shows. I would like to see how I would handle myself...I used to really want to be on American Idol, but I've changed my course...I want to use creme fraiche and rock it out...but more likely, I would probably burn stuff...
Off to continue my sleep project...
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Turn around, bright eyes....
I am a content little monkey for the time being. Team Cymbalta is cruising ahead. After one slightly terrifying panic attack, I am now energized, sleeping for the first time in months, and back to my winsome, witty self...at least in my head...and that's where the voices are who tell me what to do...(Joke)
I have discovered a number of things in the last couple of weeks:
1. People driving luxury SUVs piss me off...really? You have an extra $35,000 to spend on a car and you choose a wanky SUV with a Lexus "L" on the front? You, like the people who are not rappers or in an actual war that drive Hummers, are irritating...there...
2. I do not like Pink Floyd. I like maybe two songs, but I feel secure in admitting that I don't get it. All of their songs sound nearly the same and unless you've just dropped 3 hits of LSD and you're preparing for a laser light show at the planetarium, it's like Rachel Ray and Ann Coulter, completely unnecessary and repetitive.
3. Barack Obama did not cause the Gulf oil spill. Yes, he approved off-shore drilling, and I actually, against my politics of the last 15 years, agree with off-shore drilling, even with the oil spill, but he had nothing more to do with the oil spill than George W. Bush had to do with Katrina. And I loathe George W. Bush more than sugar-free anything and people telling me "exercise cures depression." If we were able to successfully execute off-shore drilling, perhaps we might lessen our dependence on foreign oil, which is what everything is pretty much about, anyway.
It's odd, because I get people I've been associated with through the Kerry campaign and other avenues are asking me to sign petitions to ban off-shore drilling, and I don't want to. I agree with it. I also agree with the companies that perform it being able to STOP THE DAMN OIL if it starts to leak. I think that's a general quality control issue we more or less expect of the company. Can you imagine any other industry where they have no contingency plan should a disaster occur? Oh, the plane blew up due to some kind of faulty equipment, but maybe if we shoot golf balls at the problem, that will fix it...WTF...fix it! You make billions of dollars a year, and you don't have a plan to fix a leaking well? Pay me a million dollars a year, I know literally nothing about oil drilling, but I feel I could come up with a serviceable plan to stop the damn oil.
4. Trying to be healthy is annoying. I drink a lot of caffeine. I have about 5 cups of coffee in the morning and then usually I have one or two diet Cokes throughout the day. I decided, or perhaps Smitty suggested, that maybe that wasn't super healthy. So now, I'm trying to only drink caffeine in the morning and then drinking green tea-flavored water the rest of the day. I lulled myself into a false sense of contentment by convincing myself the water tasted just as good as diet Coke...it does not. I'm drinking water with powdered sediment at the bottom that just makes me want to pee without the benefit of that elixir I love named caffeine. Stupid water. There are so many chemicals in our water already, can you not just add caffeine? How hard would that be? Those would be tax dollars at work I'd like to see.
5. Once again, stop having wildly personal cell phone conversations in public. In the past 2 weeks, I have heard snippets of conversations including:
"he got kicked out of his apartment; he living with his momma"
"if my power gets cut off, you gon' have a problem"
"if you don't go to the doctor, it's gon' fall off" (I'd love to know what's going to fall off...)
"you need to listen to me; I got money for what I did"
This wasn't a cell phone conversation, it was a 3-way phone call with a 43-year-old woman having her grandmother pay her bill, "You are so stupid, just read your damn check number to the lady." I had to keep from telling her what an ingrate she was...Why are people so dumb? I blame No Child Left Behind.
Peace Out
I have discovered a number of things in the last couple of weeks:
1. People driving luxury SUVs piss me off...really? You have an extra $35,000 to spend on a car and you choose a wanky SUV with a Lexus "L" on the front? You, like the people who are not rappers or in an actual war that drive Hummers, are irritating...there...
2. I do not like Pink Floyd. I like maybe two songs, but I feel secure in admitting that I don't get it. All of their songs sound nearly the same and unless you've just dropped 3 hits of LSD and you're preparing for a laser light show at the planetarium, it's like Rachel Ray and Ann Coulter, completely unnecessary and repetitive.
3. Barack Obama did not cause the Gulf oil spill. Yes, he approved off-shore drilling, and I actually, against my politics of the last 15 years, agree with off-shore drilling, even with the oil spill, but he had nothing more to do with the oil spill than George W. Bush had to do with Katrina. And I loathe George W. Bush more than sugar-free anything and people telling me "exercise cures depression." If we were able to successfully execute off-shore drilling, perhaps we might lessen our dependence on foreign oil, which is what everything is pretty much about, anyway.
It's odd, because I get people I've been associated with through the Kerry campaign and other avenues are asking me to sign petitions to ban off-shore drilling, and I don't want to. I agree with it. I also agree with the companies that perform it being able to STOP THE DAMN OIL if it starts to leak. I think that's a general quality control issue we more or less expect of the company. Can you imagine any other industry where they have no contingency plan should a disaster occur? Oh, the plane blew up due to some kind of faulty equipment, but maybe if we shoot golf balls at the problem, that will fix it...WTF...fix it! You make billions of dollars a year, and you don't have a plan to fix a leaking well? Pay me a million dollars a year, I know literally nothing about oil drilling, but I feel I could come up with a serviceable plan to stop the damn oil.
4. Trying to be healthy is annoying. I drink a lot of caffeine. I have about 5 cups of coffee in the morning and then usually I have one or two diet Cokes throughout the day. I decided, or perhaps Smitty suggested, that maybe that wasn't super healthy. So now, I'm trying to only drink caffeine in the morning and then drinking green tea-flavored water the rest of the day. I lulled myself into a false sense of contentment by convincing myself the water tasted just as good as diet Coke...it does not. I'm drinking water with powdered sediment at the bottom that just makes me want to pee without the benefit of that elixir I love named caffeine. Stupid water. There are so many chemicals in our water already, can you not just add caffeine? How hard would that be? Those would be tax dollars at work I'd like to see.
5. Once again, stop having wildly personal cell phone conversations in public. In the past 2 weeks, I have heard snippets of conversations including:
"he got kicked out of his apartment; he living with his momma"
"if my power gets cut off, you gon' have a problem"
"if you don't go to the doctor, it's gon' fall off" (I'd love to know what's going to fall off...)
"you need to listen to me; I got money for what I did"
This wasn't a cell phone conversation, it was a 3-way phone call with a 43-year-old woman having her grandmother pay her bill, "You are so stupid, just read your damn check number to the lady." I had to keep from telling her what an ingrate she was...Why are people so dumb? I blame No Child Left Behind.
Peace Out
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