After declaring at Christmas to Smitty when wrapping presents, "I don't do wrapping paper," he found this to be quite amusing. The reason I don't do wrapping paper is because when I wrap presents, it looks like I made a 4-year-old do it. This was charming when I was younger, but I'm 34, and I cannot wrap presents. This is why I buy gift bags in bulk. That, I can do.
I told my doctor yesterday, the one who's given me 5 shots in 3 weeks, a blood test, and an MRI this morning, that I lived close enough to walk. I had to tell her this so she would give me the shots for the headache I've had for 3 weeks. I later explained to Smitty, "I could walk there...but I don't do that..walk to places." He suggested I compile a list of things I don't do for future reference. So, while he was kidding, he presented me with a challenge. Here are things I don't do:
1. Camp. Camping is dirty and involves hiking and pooping/peeing in the woods. It's either too cold or too hot, and you're eating sloshy food cooked inside a can or shiny thing that I can't remember the name for. I don't care if there's a tent, wolves can eat through tents...also, bears. Did I mention vacating your bladder and bowels in the woods. I did camping for one guy, and it was as stupid and pointless as he was. No more camping.
2. Pushing an industrial broom or mop. I will clean the house, I will Nazi-fy the kitchen, but what I don't do, is function as a janitor. And, oh, how I appreciate these people, but I remember in school, people throwing up, the janitor putting that weird, smelly sawdust over it, and then sweeping it away. That is not a job I could ever perform.
3. Decorating. I like things that are pretty, and I can envision some of them in our house. But there are those people who have little bric-a-brac just perfectly placed, and their carpet and furniture is perfectly accented with the paint and on and on...I need to be rich enough to hire a decorator that I can tell, "We like dark wood, dark metal, and hardwood floors. Also, I like red. Go." I don't have the patience or spatial awareness to deal with decorating.
4. Planning major events. Planning my wedding was one of the suckiest things I've ever done. It may've been different had I been left alone to choose the things I wanted. I don't know, but that was the biggest, most stressful thing I've ever dealt with, my father's death not counting. My mother turned into a demon of some sort, and we had a wedding that got us married, not the wedding either of us would've chosen. We're so having a renewal of vows or something at year 20ish, that is OUR decision. I'm picturing Elvis impersonators and a big-win at the slots in Vegas, that's just me.
5. Not fighting for myself. In life, it seems that we make sacrifices and compromises and let people treat us and speak to us however they want, and we stay silent and passive and just let it happen. I vow to do this no more. No matter what my future holds, whether this MRI tells me I have a giant tumor (which I'm not expecting), I'm not "watching my life" happen anymore. I will make things happen. I've started a book, and I'm excited about it, and I feel like it could be the beginning of something great.
I miss not living with my husband, and I'm working toward doing something about that as well. The thing about that is, we love each other so much, I don't worry about our relationship, I just worry that we're missing out on our lives together, the little things that make a life. I write this on Valentine's Day, in which neither of us believe, but still wish each other, but practice every day of the year. We love each other so much that we always think Valentine's Day is so dumb, because we celebrate our relationship 365 1/4 days a year and are a little sad for those who make such a big deal of it and spoil children with it, and are sucked in by such commerciality. But, I say, whatever works for them, they should do. We have our thing; they have theirs.
