Me and Sam at my office Christmas party..how hot are we??

Have yourself a neurotic little Christmas

I haven't written in so long. I've become obsessed with MySpace, and I've been cheating on blogspot. I feel badly, but, oh, well. I'm back to write a more pensive entry about the state of affairs in my life, here, where I can ramble, and hardly anyone ever reads it.
I've been back in Mississippi for about two months now, and I am in a weird mindset about it. On some levels, it's comforting beyond belief, and on others, more terrifying than Pennsylvania was. At least there, I felt like I was accomplishing something. I mean, I know that I'm working toward something here, but I miss feeling like I had risen above my roots, so to speak.
There's nothing wrong with my roots, mind you, but I just know that I am meant for something more. The key is, figuring out what the hell that is.
And I miss people. I miss Simon, and I miss Mark, and Amanda, and I miss Rachel and Jason, and I have no clue when I'll see them again, and that makes me sad.
I never thought I was one of those people that Christmas affected adversely, but I think I am. I've been awfully depressed the last couple of weeks, like I'm doing something wrong or not doing enough to change my attitude. It's frustrating.
And that whole "I'm going to die alone" thing becomes more and more prominent when it's Christmas, and I'm 28, and I have no husband or children to celebrate with. I'm going to be the crazy, eccentric aunt that my sister takes pity on in the future and invites to holidays after my parents "pass on."
And I KNOW how ridiculous that sounds, but I can't help it. I'm not rational when I'm kinda depressed.
Anyway, I'm at work, so I should probably, you know, work.
I hope everyone has a great holiday and is in a better mood than I.