After while, Crocodile

Today is my dad's 74th birthday. I raise a glass upward and know that he's had a day of fishing and Clint Eastwood movies and maybe only a brief nod (hopefully) to the fact that he is missed down here today. This is the second birthday of his without him here. I always think the day is going to be terribly depressing, but ends up being a day where I talk about the best memories I have of him and as long as I don't linger on it, it ultimately makes me happy to remember the kind of relationship we had.

Speaking of fishing, he taught me how to fish. I had my own rod and reel, in fact. I don't know how many afternoons were spent with him at various "fishing holes" in Noxubee County, in mud with bugs and heat and stinky fish water, casting and re-casting my line. I mention the conditions, because I cannot imagine doing that now, although fishing would still be fun maybe in a boat, but those were some of the most enjoyable memories I have. There's a picture he had on his bedroom mirror until he died, of my sister and I, in matching visors (oh, yeah....), and she's holding up either a fish or string of fish while I pose with my hip stuck out and my hand on top, like "America's Top Model....and Fishing." 

He also taught my sister and me how to shoot on some of those trips. I remember thinking how incredibly cool it was to shoot a gun, and frankly, my sister was like a secret government sniper. She loved it and was a really good shot, and I mention this because when I think about my sister, sharpshooter is not the exact image that leaps to mind. Smitty has a really hard time picturing this, as I freak out about the guns he has in our house, but that has more to do with being terrified that one's going to go off accidentally and shoot one of our feet off...sorry, I have my peccadilloes. They include, but are not limited to: guns, bugs, sharks, cows, and hearing fingernails scratch on anything.

When I reminded Smitty this morning that today would've been my dad's birthday, he let me ramble about different things growing up, and all this stuff came to mind...:

1. Almost every time he left to go anywhere, probably until I was in my 20's, we had this exchange. "See you later, Alligator," "After while, Crocodile," "See you soon, you big Baboon," which is one of those things that is so silly at the time, but as I write this, is making me cry and want to hear his voice, which perpetually smiled.

2. Even when he was sick, really sick, including before he died, he worried about me. I had a toothache around the time he died that I totally blew off and turned out to be nothing, but he asked me every day, "Did you go to the dentist?"

3. He taught me to appreciate all kinds of pasta, particularly spaghetti, and at age 10, I could describe and demonstrate "al dente" noodles, explain that it literally means "to the teeth," and tell you that the flag of Italy is red, white and green, for the tomato sauce, the noodles, and the bell peppers. FYI, we are not Italian, have no Italian roots of which I'm aware, but much like the fact that he could eat his weight in shrimp, he could do the same with noodles. I got that from him, still will pretty much eat only spaghetti if Smitty is out of town and be perfectly content, and I think of him every single time I drop a noodle into boiling water.

4. He literally told the dumbest jokes in the history of the world. In his defense, he picked these up from friends and colleagues, but, wow...example...

"If cloning scientists work with figure skaters Dorothy Hammil or Nancy Kerrigen, the result will be an ice queen clone."

 "Dyslexics of the world, untie!"

When I heard this, my favorite joke, and I told him, I think he was actually proud...


"So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Confused, the bartender asks "Hey bud, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
"I don't know" the pirate says, "but it's driving me nuts!"

So I've had my cathartic cry for the day, I've laughed remembering when I told Smitty about the fishing trip he and I took where he had to shoo the cows away from the truck (only in the South) before I would even remotely get close..(see above irrational cow fear), smiled contentedly telling Smitty how I always felt he was proud of me no matter what I did, mainly because I so resembled him, but how that does a lot of good for a child's, or adult's, for that matter, self-esteem. Thank God for that. I can still feel like I'm on a completely random path and the faith and confidence he had in me sustains me. And I can end today, a bittersweet day, not feeling sad, but blessed to have these memories and many more that remind me of how important he will always be to me.

This was our favorite scene from a movie to quote, ever....:
"You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark will go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'."

"Jaws," the scene with Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider, and Richard Dreyfuss, where they're in the boat, hunting the shark and sharing drinks and war stories.