Christmas has come and gone. It turns out I didn't need to be committed to an asylum for missing my dad or for other sins of the family that tend to descend during the holidays. Cymbalta, you are worth every penny. "Jingle bells, pills are swell, cheaper than a shrink..."...you get the idea.
I've decided the key to enjoyment in life is to set your expectations low. While this sounds pessimistic, it's actually an optimistic approach, or it's about as optimistic as I get. That way, I can always be delighted with the outcome. For instance, I chose to laugh my way through Christmas. As aforementioned, Cymbalta helps us (the royal me) find the humor in the dreaded, but I did really find things funny this Christmas.
Overheard at family gatherings:
1. "Ever since I had my fall, my equilibrium has been off....whatever that is." -- my grandmother, who fell about two months ago at McDonald's due to the fact their toilet seat wasn't properly fastened. She cracked her tailbone, the second time she's actually done this, and have I mentioned, she's 90. The woman is an institution.
2. "But, we can just open presents now. Dad won't care." -- my nephew Drew, dying from the fact he had to wait until his dad got off work before we could open presents. Children have a way of making everything sound perfectly logical.
3. "What size hat does Smitty wear?" -- my mom, who could not be convinced that baseball hats are pretty much one size fits all. I tried, in vain, to explain they're adjustable, they come in one size, and that she was making me question the validity of her master's degree. She bought Smitty a hat, which.......was one size fits all. This afforded an opportunity to do my "I was right, I was ri---iiight" chant while preparing Christmas dinner.
4. "You're going down, punk!" -- my nephew Matthew, who is a huge fan of superheroes and apparently has been watching "Die Hard" movies in his spare time.
5. "You've got my balls, I cannot see..." -- Smitty, singing to the first part of "Crash" by Dave Matthews Band in the car on the way to Mississippi. It's safe to say that diet Coke neared the point of shooting out my nose, but I resisted. That is one funny tall man.
6. "Do you just look for ways to look more retarded?" -- my brother-in-law Gib, because I got a wool hat with ear flaps that people might think such a dignified person as myself wouldn't wear in public. They would be wrong. It's too cold for me to care about how stupid I look. It was snowing on Christmas Day in Mississippi, a sure sign the end is near...I was cold. Slap my ass and call me Canadian, they know what they're doing when it comes to outerwear.
I heard the most beautiful song last week sung by Kate McGarrigle, mother of Rufus Wainwright, who passed away last year. It was called "I Eat Dinner," and while it is a fairly sad song, it is absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful. I'm getting that CD as soon as I can locate it. A sampling:
"Never thought that I'd end up like this
I who loved the light
Never thought I'd be without a kiss
No one to turn off the light
Turn off the light"
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