I'm sorry, did I sign up to be an extra in "A Time to Kill" and not remember? I cannot stop sweating, which is gross. It is too hot; I can't even sit on the front porch at night, because the mugginess rises up and smacks me in the face..which is rude for an atmospheric status to do. I never thought I would say I was ready for football season, but I am, because football season signals cool weather, Thanksgiving, sweaters, etc...I saw a girl at work today wearing a cardigan outside. I literally wanted to punch her. It made me hotter just looking at her. Clearly, she's a transplant from Alaska; that's the only logical explanation I can glean. Otherwise, she's a moron.
South Beach Diet Week 3, pounds lost: 3. SRSLY...I am losing one pound a week, and the book mocks me with its "By Week 3, you should've lost anywhere from 8 to 14 pounds. Hey, Dr. South Beach, why don't you bite me? I'm following your stupid diet, I nearly made Smitty and I sick with questionable turkey meatloaf last night, I haven't eaten pasta in a month, and your printed words echo failure throughout my head. If I had known eating healthily wouldn't have caused me to lose weight, I would've been in mashed potato and spaghetti-eating contests. I'm not stopping the diet, b/c I feel perhaps my monthly hormonal intruder is causing interference with the diet. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. If I don't start to lose weight soon, however, I'm having a talk with my doctor who recommended this torture.
My nightly sleep aversion reared its ugly head earlier this week. I was so tired, and I lay down, and bam, wide awake. I flipped and flopped around until I heard this from Smitty, "SSSSIIIIIIGGH," (that's really the only way I know how to write a frustrated exhalation, and I knew I was getting on his nerves and "stealing his warm cocoon air," so I got up and went to the couch and watched bad TV, then "Dead Poets Society," (Oh Captain, my Captain indeed) until I fell asleep at 2:30. Thank God I had the next day off or there would have been some degree of taking phone calls the next day and saying, "What was that? I nodded off while you were talking. You wanted to add a '10 Mercedes with comp and collision? Oh, you wanted to add an '89 Toyota Corolla with liability only? That's what I thought you said."
I got an early birthday present from Smitty..birthday is Aug. 9 for those who have deep pockets and a generous nature. He gave me American Idol 2 for the Playstation 3. Oh, my Lord. We already christened it Saturday night with friends and an off-balance me, but this game, while fun for groups, is actually for me to do as loudly as I want when no one is home or when Smitty is on business trips. We have no neighbors to apologize to, and when I'm by myself, my renditions of "Tiny Dancer" and "Holiday" rival no other. I give myself chills and then get cranky when game Simon criticizes my performance. He's mean, even on video game. I have, however, beat the game and become video American Idol, but that was on the XBox. I'll have to see what I can do on this newfangled game system.
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