It's all about me..as it should be

You know, lots of people who know me really well would probably say that I'm self-involved..and they wouldn't be wrong, really. I tend to freak out about stuff more than the average bear, and if something affects me in any slight way, it's possible that I have a stronger reaction that necessary. I've been to therapy, I've been on anti-depressants, and clearly, I've established this blog to kind of serve as an outlet for the crazies that creep in when I can't do much to stop them. But the thing is, I am actually not all that self-involved when it comes to the important stuff.
I have postponed career paths, educational paths, hell, sometimes just weekend plans, to accommodate others' needs, even though it might not be what I personally want to do. There are certain people that I've made changes and allowances for, because I'm being quite the opposite of self-involved, and if there were some sort of support group, I think this would be the "moment of clarity," where I stood up and said, "Hi, I am Emily, and from now on, everything really and truly is all about me."
For instance, I have been stressing for months on which grad schools to apply to, in order to make family, significant other, etc.. happy. Why in God's name have I been doing that? Do these people have to attend said grad school? Fuck no, I do, so decision #1 in pleasing Emily's goals is to go where I want. I'm the one who has put this off more times than I can count because it wasn't the right time, not just for me, but for others' agendas, and I'm done..DONE. I haven't decided 100% where I'm going, but rest assured, when I do, it will be because it's where I want to go..me, the one going..that one seems as though it should have been fairly obvious, huh?
Also, I'm done being a good girlfriend. Not to point fingers at any men I may've brushed up against for too long in the last few years, but Compromising and Understanding Emily has hung up her jersey.
In fact, I'm really done with being a girlfriend..period. I've come to the realization that I've been in an irrational hurry to get married because I want children so badly, and the whole turning 28 thing this year freaked me out to that end, but good God, do I really want to be in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship so that I can then end up being a single mother, most likely? Ummm..lemme think..no.
I've decided that I am settling for no less than someone who wants to write a personal thank-you note to God for creating me and allowing me to be with him, and until I find that, I'm not settling. Why should I or anyone else have to? Dating should be viewed, I think, as more of a learning experience than anything else..that whole "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince" philosophy. And God knows, frogs have overpopulated the planet at an alarming rate since I started dating..but I'm not going to dwell on that. It's all back story and life experience for the many best-selling novels I will write.
I will say this, if I've ever dated you and you've pissed me off, I would be very concerned..just a caveat.I feel I should be fair before taking some people off at the knees. I can't completely go cold turkey with the pseudo-selflessness thing, I guess..
So, anyway, to sum up, Emily (who, in fact, will be referring to herself in the third person from now on) is about to get serious about what makes Emily happy. It's been trial and error so far, which is about the best any of us can hope for, but I am no longer concerned with the feelings of others if they interfere with what I feel is my path.
It's an Emilyaissance, so to speak, and we'll (also the royal pronouns) see how it pans out.