More than a few of my least favorite things...an unloading, if you will

Either I have PMS or my adrenal gland is functioning at twice its capacity. I am annoyed. The stupidity of my fellow humans has reached an Orange Alert, and I simply have to get it out or the little vein in the side of my temple is going to burst.

1. To the lady that called me a heifer and hung up on me, because I wouldn't tell her that her soon-to-be ex-husband has every right to make changes to his insurance policy, as does she, and I can't limit either of their abilities to do so. This was a concern to her, as her husband keeps calling her and telling her he took her and her car off the policy, which he hasn't, and I briefly felt bad about, but as far as I'm concerned, I hope she gets picked up by the police and made to sleep in a jail cell that smells like pee for having no insurance. Cranky bitch.

2. Alabama and Auburn fans everywhere, in my face, with their stickers and their stupid car flags and their invasive questions at the grocery store, gas station, doctor's office, "You like Auburn or Alabama?" "NEITHER! It is conceivably possible that a person can exist quite happily without choosing a damn football team in the state of Alabama to support. If you ask me again, I will pee in your shampoo. I've done it before, I'm not scared." And I really want to suggest to the genius entrepreneur by our house who sells $5 Alabama t-shirts every melon farming weekend this shirt idea, "If you can read this, you probably don't give a shit about football in the state of Alabama."

3. People who will not control the volume of their voices in a work environment. I am this close from pulling a Tonya Harding on a couple of folks at work simply because I cannot even string a thought together when their nasally, completely fake and loud, I'm-in-charge-of-this-even-though-80%-of-what-I-say-is-incorrect, collectively, voices pierce and invade the inside of my head day after day after day. I am extremely sensitive to noises, I don't know why, in fact most of the time, I'm kind of deaf, but this has become a special, fun test that I fear is designed for me to end up in a straitjacket screaming for the lambs to stop and talking to an invisible gorilla.

4. People who are just dumb. I adore Facebook, but what I do not adore is being in touch with various people, most of whom I went to middle school with, who are so impossibly stupid, that I realize nearly immediately I should not have accepted their friend requests. If you don't know how to use proper grammar and punctuation, and you think it's cute to spell crazy with a "K," or just don't look at how you spell, period, you and I probably don't need to be friends. There are some people who will be friends, not just on Facebook, with literally anyone. They're so nice and sweet that they make themselves endure people who never saw the inside of a high school just to be polite. I am not one of those people. I've had simple acquaintances in the past, and I remember trying to make small talk, and their turning it into "Aw, shoot, you use big words, I don't know what you're talking 'bout," and me thinking..."ah, I think I can end this weak relationship without guilt..wheww."

5. Smitty yelling at the damn TV and me about football. The TV can't hear him, and I don't care. Just watch the game and leave me out of it. I'm not complaining that you're watching it, I just don't want to be drawn into your madness and clapping and hooting. He needs some male playmates. I just want to read People magazine and be left alone. And this entry is his own fault because he told me to shut up and go back to my little computer...so there, Fart Blossom....you asked for it.

Hopefully, that will relieve this shoulders at my ears thing. If I offended you, I really don't care right now...I apologize for nothing.