Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Thank you, Alexander Fleming, a tip of my hat

So, my two white blood cells, Herb and Marv, gave up on Sunday. I had been around someone with contagious germs attaching themselves to my every being, and I fought the good fight. Yesterday, however, I succumbed and went to the doctor. Diagnosis: Sinusitis and pharyngitis and the knowledge that some resistant strain of something with a really long name that in ends in "coccus," tee, hee..is going around Birmingham. Lucky me.

Babies are everywhere lately. I have friends with babies, I see babies on TV, babies, babies, babies. I also recently read a post by someone on Facebook that said "you don't start living until you have babies." I wholeheartedly disagree with that. Does that mean I didn't have a life-changing experience in Philadelphia and find out more about myself than I ever thought possible? My father died before I have babies; does that mean my time with him was pointless?

I love children, I really do, and we do want one...ONE, you hear me? If we have twins fine, but after one, we're closing up the Uterus Shoppe. You can have one child and make sure they're not weird. He/she will have five first cousins to play with, and will meet friends at school and such. I dunno why everyone is so surprised when I say we only want one. Watch me eat my words and have a basketball team, but I doubt it. I'm 33, and the 'ol eggs probably aren't what they used to be.

Nonetheless, I understand that when you have children, it's wonderful and you love them, and they may complete your life, but I find it mildly offensive to suggest that a married couple without them isn't really living. That's a very egotistical comment to make. Some people never want children, and they live completely full and happy lives. That's like me saying, "If you've never been to Paris or New York, you've never really been anywhere." However, I do think if you've never eaten a fried pickle, you've never had pure joy in your mouth.

Speaking of children, I need a Halloween costume idea. And I don't want to hear "slutty," "naughty" or "schoolgirl" suggested. I like funny costumes, and have yet to understand why Halloween is an excuse for girls to dress like extras in a pornographic movie. It's a kids holiday, not a late-night Cinemax costume showcase.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some children are why animals eat their young.

JC said...

Some children remind me why some animals eat their young.

JC said...

Dress like the Easter Bunny and tell the children Halloween isn't until next Spring. Or, Santa Claus, and tell the children you're coming tonight and they'd better get home and to bed. Then, watch the looks on the faces of the parents and hear them try to explain that you're crazy.

Dorothy Parker-lite said...

I love the crankster kid coments, and the costume ideas.