Monday, March 28, 2005

Something not quite right

There is something amiss about these eHarmony commercials that I feel we're being inundated with, as of late.
You know which ones I'm talking about, the odd older gentleman, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony comes on the screen talking about the success rate of their matches and why it works. They evaluate each participant on 30 supposed dimensions of personality, so it's not based on looks or "selling yourself" like other personals sites are.
Then, they have these couples that, I'm sorry, look mismatched to me, as well as looking grossly uncomfortable talking about how, "I knew he was my soulmate when I met him. I don't have to try with him."
Okay, so basically Dr. Neil Clark Warren is a pimp, then?
I briefly tried eHarmony a few months ago, and, to be honest, it was just annoying. You take this survey on your "personality dimensions," and quite honestly, that questionnaire is not going to guarantee anything.
I remember one of the questions being about dealing with anger and the choices were, do you: a. Take some time to cool off, b. Try not to argue, or c. Fly into a blind rage.
Well, gee, unless you are a complete moron who wants to be matched with another psycho, and maybe that's your bag, I don't think you're going to opt for certain answers.
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I can't get behind this online dating stuff. I went out with one guy from match.com, and as God is my witness, that's the last time I'll ever do that.
He wasn't a bad guy; but he was a very needy guy who had been through the process many times before, so he kind of got a little too happy when I wasn't strange or unattractive.
We had an okay time, but I couldn't help feeling there was something artificial about the whole thing. The reason I did it is because I didn't know anyone in Philly outside of work, and I wanted to try to meet other people my age, and I realized after that experience that, for me, that's not the way to do it.
I have friends that swear by match.com and the like, and I think that's great. They've met people that they've either dated or remained friends with, and that's exactly what the point of those sites is.
But for me, I think I'll stick to meeting people the old-fashioned way, face to face, where my superficial parts can decide if I'm even attracted enough to them to give them my number.
That's the other thing, a lot of these sites and a lot of people on these sites, say "It's not about looks; it's not about being superficial." Huh?
I don't mean to sound shallow, (or maybe I do) but it sure as hell is about looks. If you don't find someone attractive, I don't care if they have the wit of Jon Stewart and mimicry of Will Ferrell, your relationship isn't going to progress much beyond a friendship, and I can speak for myself when I say that I have enough friends.
So, anyway, I'm glad those sites exist for the people that find them useful, but my profile is permanently removed from match.com, and I'm sure a population of strange men not fit for society just said, "Doh!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

old fashioned? that's funny because as i recall our meeting you were drunk in a bar and poked me in the forehead after talking about politics for roughly 5 minutes. no wonder eharmony didn't work for you, it's hard to poke a computer and have the same effect. but that's ok, what has been lost to the millions of internet wierdos has been my gain, old fashioned or not.

Anonymous said...

eHarmony and the extreme right wing:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/2/5/145919/2183

Dorothy Parker-lite said...

I don't know if you'll visit again, but thanks so much for the link. I actually had no idea about that. Good to know.