Okay, originally, I was going to write about something else, but since my most recent act of utter clumsiness is driving me to distraction at the moment, I decided to let everyone who doesn't already know in on what a klutz I am.
I don't know how I grew up with a total lack of grace. I took dance lessons for about eight years, but I tend to think taking dance lessons in Mississippi is really just an excuse to stay off the mean streets. Clearly, I gleaned no grace from years of arabesques and pink tutus.
I digress; last night, as I was literally hopping into bed (I dunno, sometimes the prospect of going to sleep is more than I can handle), I proceeded to bounce right off the bed onto the rather large radiator that occupies the space to the right of my bed. The right side of my butt hit it directly, as well as my left knee. A stream of expletives that would surely rival George Carlin's "words you can't say" came out of my mouth in such a torrent that at one point, I thought I might be speaking in tongues.
After I slowly realized that nothing appeared to be broken, I ambled to my feet to lie prostrate on the bed and recover. After the initial pain subsided, I thought, "Hmm. Maybe I didn't really do any damage. That's really odd."
Fast forward to this morning. My right elbow is scraped and bruised, I have a bruised knot the size of a grapefruit on my ass, there are scrapes all over my hand where I tried to shield myself, and the real beauty is that my left knee hurts so much to turn in any direction that I either have to walk like Frankenstein or limp. That's hot, right?
In later days, I will describe how I broke my ankle, didn't know it was broken and went to a party with said broken ankle....
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