I wanted to scream, so I sang Chicago

I think I'm suffering from what I can only self-diagnose as "activity overload." I have a life again; it's nice, but now I remember that the last time I had a life this full, I was in my 20s, and my 36 year-old self handles constant activity slightly less well. Don't get me wrong, I much prefer having too much to do to rocking back and forth in the dark listening to Adele (not that I did that), I'm just sort of out of breath.

I don't run unless being chased, but I've heard runners describe hitting "the wall," like when they just don't think they can go any further. I had that feeling on Sunday, after working until 1:45 a.m. Saturday, sleeping some, and then staying out until 2 a.m. Sunday. I felt I had hit the wall, for sure. I don't think I changed out of my pajamas Sunday, and I really didn't feel all that bad for that.

I'm trying to carpe the diem and appreciate all these good changes in my life, but I am starting to realize there are times when I just have to say no to things for preservation of sanity and health. It's very sad that I can't play "American Idol" anymore due to apartment living. I mean, I guess I could. My former upstairs neighbor, also known as "DJ Bucketfeet" certainly had no trouble being extremely loud at all hours of the day, but I do have my pride. I don't want the cops called for a noise complaint to find me belting out "The First Cut is the Deepest."

So, I sing a cappella. I sing Chicago and Sheryl Crow and the Rolling Stones while I'm loading the dishwasher or cleaning or gathering laundry. I figure I don't have the accompaniment of the bass or vocals from the game, so it can't be that loud. If it is, frankly, I don't give a damn. It's not normal to hold in tension. You gotta vent somehow. I have writing and singing badly and my friends. Yes, I get by with a little (a lot) of help from my friends.

Sometimes, I think, I could so easily freak out (again), but thank God, I found a strength in myself I didn't quite know existed. I read a quote today that is my new motto, "My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned, and that's ok." Yep; that pretty well encompasses it. I'm finding that a key element of figuring out what you do want for you life is systematically eliminating what you don't want. Alas, that's a list for another day.