I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, right now you can't tell

I think once you embrace that you're having a minor nervous breakdown, life becomes a little easier. To clarify, I don't mean to denigrate people who are having or have had an actual nervous breakdown, I know I'm having a "First World Problem," and I'm trying to take it for what it is.

I got married, I'm getting divorced, I have depression, and I have no idea what to do with my life. There. There it is in a nutshell. Oh, and my uterus is drying up as we speak, so I may never have children...I think that's the meat of the emotional rollercoaster I'm riding. I know I'm not the first person on this ride, but as I may have mentioned repeatedly, I have minimal (at best) coping skills. I find that I have a really strong urge to just scream. Not at anyone, just scream until I feel better. I may try it...just in a department store. No, I kid...about the department store, not the screaming. Maybe I can start a Scream Therapy group.

I've been sleeping in my childhood room since Saturday. If you want to feel like a real winner, I suggest doing that with the realization that you don't know when you'll have the wherewithal to sleep somewhere that you either own or on which you pay rent. Also, my room is tiny. I guess I didn't notice this growing up, as I was rarely in there, and I, too, was smaller, but I feel like Andre the Giant sleeping in a milk crate.

When I say I don't know what to do with my life, I'm not being hyperbolic. In fact, I hope I don't run into any members of a cult in the next little while, because I would be very suggestible. You worship chipmunks and wear bras on your heads? That sounds amazing! So we live in underground bunkers and an Oompa Loompa is our leader? What a brilliant idea! I am totally in!

All I can say right now is that I am enjoying singing at the top of my lungs again, appreciating the written word, and the fact that I am tabula rasa. I can go live in Tibet with the Sherpas, or I can join the Peace Corps, neither of which are very likely, but I can do them if I want. I lost myself somewhere along the way in the last 6-8 years, and the upside of that, is that I get to find myself. I remember myself being delightful, so I think it will be worth it.