An annoyance I can't seem to eliminate

I preface this by saying, this is a first-world, self-involved, somewhat whiny post. I have a great job, a roof over my head, food in my fridge and pantry, and no real concrete complaints from life. That being said, I just get these vague, unsettling feelings of "meh" and "I will punch you." That's totally normal, right?

When I was married, I would get these feelings and either bottle them way deep down as to avoid misplaced aggression, or I would freak out because there was a person who was legally required to absorb the brunt of my random, nonsensical outbursts of angry streams of consciousness. Sadly, there is no such person anymore. I have to actually deal with my emotions. What a buzz kill.

As a result, I do weird things, like get super excited to find super glue so I can repair things and alternately read three books at one time, which results in my getting really confused about what lines come back to me later. I also think I either aggressively internalize others' actions the wrong way or swing way on other to the other side of the spectrum and don't internalize them enough.

That was one of the somewhat positive things about marriage. You might've had to navigate a minefield here and there, but you were both forced to deal with it. Without that binding contract, and maybe with it for some people, you turn into the Sherlock Holmes of human emotion. "What did that statement mean?" "I've done something wrong, right?" And it goes on and on and on.

I am not a game-playing, hard-to-interpret kind of gal. Maybe to my detriment, I pretty much just say what's on my mind, what I expect and let you know what I find unacceptable. I feel empowered that way, but I also have to check myself occasionally and remember, oh, yeah, I'm single again and don't have a legal safety net to catch the crazy. No one is legally required to understand why my emotions might swing wildly about, as though attached to the legs of an Irish dancer. And I guess that's okay.

I don't cry myself to sleep anymore, and I look forward to doing things that I plan, but I also miss a warm body lying next to me at night, even if it snores. I find that longing depressing and maddening, but I'm a human being, and I can't deny my basest feelings. And I wouldn't want to. I think the best lesson I can teach myself out of all of this chaos and hurt from the past year is to understand what makes me happy, and how to best achieve it, landmines and all.